Although there are friendships that can last a lifetime, there are also others that can wear out over time and eventually break down. At some point, you may feel that you and a friend no longer connect as before, or that you have less in common.
As in the breakup of a couple, separations between friends can also be very painful and dramatic. However, it happens more than it seems, since in many cases leaving that relationship that is no longer working is the healthiest alternative.
In this sense, sometimes, there are signs that indicate that a friendship has come to an end. Business Insider magazine spoke with the American psychologist Rachel Hoffmann, to learn about what motivates friends to separate, identifying three signs that could be key.
1. The distance
While we have a lot of technological devices at our disposal to communicate, sometimes this is not enough to replace company or physical presence. Geographic distance, lack of time or willingness to meet may lead to less quality time spent together.
“Friendship doesn’t have to end when distance reigns between you,” says Hoffmann. “However, it is possible that the environments in which they were together have already ceased to exist for both of them.”
2. Different plans
In many cases, friendships are exhausted when one of the two people focuses on a career, a project or a stable relationship with another person.
“Naturally, people end up separating and can begin to prioritize different areas of their lives depending on the stage in which they are,” says the psychologist. In this context, the lesson would be not to blame or try to avoid the end of the relationship at all costs, but neither to let it slip away and remain in a couple of beautiful memories.
3. The other person no longer gives you anything
A good friendship is one that makes us feel good, receive and give support, and feel confident enough to share aspects of our life that few people know. “Some (friendships) are based on revealing intimate details, others can simply function as a momentary distraction from reality,” observes Hoffman.
Along the same lines, the expert advises that “when friendship no longer satisfies this series of needs, it is time to reflect on whether to put the energy that we have left in that relationship or to redefine the expectations we have towards that person.”
What is the best way to communicate the break?
If you appreciated and valued that person a lot at the time, you may have to put your cards on the table and be honest if you no longer want to continue being their friend. If you are still maintaining trust, the conversation may come off spontaneously.
“The goal is to express how the needs you had in that relationship are no longer being met,” says Hoffman. “It must be made clear that the relationship is not going to any port at the present moment and that there was a time when it did, and therefore, it is probably best that both go their separate ways.”